I've been thinking about my goals a LOT lately. I'm an avid goal conquerer and lately, it seems like no matter what goal I set, I can't connect to it. I set goals that motivated me tremendously in the past. Ones that excited me, scared me and would put me out of my comfort zone. You know, all of the things that goals should do. So WHY then, are they not connecting?
I've realized somewhere amid my serious frustration with this process, I can't connect to something that I don't need.
Nothing earth shattering here... but think about it.
In order to set goals, I believe you can do this more effectively if you know what your own personal definition of success is. For me, that is happiness. Happiness is my ultimate goal in life, in the lives of my family and friends and those that I help. Helping myself and others lead healthy, happy and fulfilling lives. So again, WHY are these goals that I'm setting not connecting? Because they aren't goals that are going to help me reach my current need to find happiness for myself and others. period. Sometimes a goal doesn't have to have number. Sometimes, it doesn't have to have a graph, a chart, a NAME or even a date. ( I know, I know. This literally goes against EVERYTHING you know about goal setting and every google search on "how to set goals" there is ) But stick with me here for a minute... Right now in my life, I need to SOUL set, not Goal set.
What I need: -More Happiness
-Compassion My GOAL, is to obtain more of these things. This is new territory for me because up until this point, my goals have been very traditional. They had a plan, measurable results, goal dates, numbers, charts... So how do I create a plan for more happiness, joy, harmony, routine and compassion? Like any other goal you set. You reverse engineer it by defining it. Where do I want to see more happiness in my life? Where do I need to place the emphasis of Joy in my journey? Where am I OUT of balance and crave harmony? What is currently not working with my routine and what would I like to see happen? Where can I show or receive more compassion in my life? Do you see already how answering these questions and defining them further can bring clarity to your vision? Let's dissect one of these feel good goals and put an action plan in place. DEFINE IT: I want more happiness in my home. More laughter, more fun, more light heartedness. I want my children to smile and my husbands eyes to light up when he sees me. I want to feel happier on a daily basis and eliminate negativity. *NOTE: Usually when I set goal, I get to work. I start DOING the things that need to be done in order to achieve that specific result. So again, we define: How do I create more laughter in my home? What can I eliminate to avoid negativity or mood changers within my relationships? How can I love my husband more? How can I make sure my children have more fun? What do I personally need to ensure my attitude is positive?
This process brings even MORE clarity and ultimately helps you create your plan to reach the goal. You can create action steps by identifying the need. The ACTION Plan is the most important part of Goal setting or SOUL setting... either way, to conquer it, you must act. MY ACTION PLAN TO CREATE MORE HAPPINESS IN THE HOME:
-eliminate any/all "entertainment" that detracts from a positive environment in the home.
-structured meal times : 8 AM breakfast, 12:30 Lunch, 6 PM Dinner
-Cover the top 3 basic needs of my spouse daily/weekly/monthly ( You may need to have a chat and make sure you know what they're basic needs are... yours might be different than theirs )
-Family Outings once a week that are scheduled/prepared and planned for (Saturdays)
-Monthly Family Service - find a need as a family ( GOOGLE IT! ) and serve others
-One on one time with Gray and Mom 8-9 AM, with dad 9-10 AM
-One on one time with Know & Mom 3:30-4:30, with dad 7-8 PM
-Personal Development daily + prayer geared towards serving my family and starting my day off right I believe that if I can successfully conquer these tasks in a consistent and structured way, it will successfully create an environment and breed more happiness. I believe that once this goal is achieved, I can get back to setting more traditional goals, but until this is achieved, I will continue to struggle. Don't ever fear what you NEED, even if it's not what anyone else is doing or understanding. The more at peace you are with yourself, the happier and healthier you feel, the more brave you are to trespass your own boundaries and reach your own potential.